Confessions of a 40-year-old Train Wreck

Have you ever thought of yourself as a train wreck, or has anyone ever referred to you as one (or, i.e., basket case, crazy, hot mess, extra)? Labels are not easy to swallow, and as much as I teach self-love and advocacy to my clients, it’s curious that I may label myself with such a harsh title. I categorized myself in this way when I realized I was perpetually avoiding my own emotional needs and drive toward achieving overall life satisfaction by focusing on the wrong things: work, relationships that weren’t meeting my needs, perfection in appearance, and social distractions. This was a pattern of behavior and my prime focus exercised over the course of 20 years. It wasn’t until I was 40 that the epiphany occurred: whatever I’m doing, it’s not working- because I’m not happy. 

Just like anything in the mental health world or where there’s a wide range of collective bodies, there is a spectrum. In this case, there’s a train wreck spectrum. Maybe it’s just my experience, but women seem to be bestowed this title far more often than men, and why? My theory is that women have a higher propensity to neglect their own emotional, physical, and intrapersonal needs than men. Instead, women are driven and hyper-focused in their pursuit of being that never-ending vessel of “let me meet all your needs.” Influenced by various factors such as upbringing, cultural values, unhealthy relationships, and trauma experienced in relationships. 

Like so many other women, I developed self-neglectful habits along this linear path, which caused me to align with this proverbial train wreck spectrum. Sadly, it wasn’t until recently, arguably halfway through my life, that I realized my negative behavioral patterns and avoidance of most things’ me-related’ was causing a lack of fulfillment. Constantly overextending myself at work and a poor selection of intimate partners supported my subconscious pattern of avoiding my own needs. I would instead focus on the relationship and making them happy or worry about their happiness and satisfaction in the relationship over my own. 

I share this candid insight into my life because I believe so many women neglect their emotional and intrapersonal needs, many without even knowing what those needs are, to begin with. I want there to be a resource for women to come together, learn how to get off the train track toward inevitable wreckage, and start moving toward a life of satisfaction and fulfillment. 

One approach my team and I have been working on is creating a one-of-a-kind experience that will equip women to launch on an unexplored path toward personal growth, expansion, and ultimately self-actualization. We want to empower YOU to be the best version of YOU- through knowledge, awareness, and insight based on various areas such as psychosocial history, relationships, confidence, and self-advocacy. 

If you or someone you know could benefit from understanding your: 

  • intrapersonal needs
  • emotional needs
  • creating a sense of acute awareness  
  • gaining clarity on what you want in life 
  • Insight from an actual therapist
  • a group setting that supports women empowering women
  • and a unique yoga and meditation blend specifically tailored to our workshop. 
  • plus some other fun surprises

Then head to this link to be the first in line; a select number of spots will open up Tuesday, March 8, in celebration of International Women’s Day!

The rest of the team and I can’t wait to empower you!

– Jessica